11. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

12. Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

13. When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

14. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

15. I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

16. [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

17. What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

18. Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Lea and as smart as Yoda.

19. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.